A very close friend of mine recently lost a parent who had been struggling with dementia for years. Losing a parent or close family member is one of the most painful experiences a human can endure. It’s not simply a moment in time — it’s a full-body, whole-life disruption. Grief affects the mind, the heart, and the body. It changes routines, relationships, energy, sleep, appetite, and the way we show up in the world.
Whether the loss was sudden or expected, grief has a way of pulling the ground from beneath us. It’s deeply emotional, but it’s also physical, psychological, and physiological. Understanding how grief affects your health — and knowing how to take care of yourself through it — can make a world of difference.
This article isn’t meant to offer quick fixes. Grief doesn’t work on a deadline. Instead, these insights and tools are designed to support you through your process, help you understand what you’re feeling, and remind you that you’re not alone
How Grief Impacts Your Health
Grief doesn’t live in your mind alone — it lives in your body. Stress hormones rise, sleep becomes disrupted, and physical symptoms can appear in unexpected ways.
Here are some of the most common physical and mental health effects people experience:
1. Sleep Disruptions
Insomnia, oversleeping, nightmares, and fragmented sleep are all common. The nervous system is overstimulated, making deep rest difficult.
Why it matters:
Poor sleep amplifies emotional pain, weakens immunity, and impacts decision-making.
2. Changes in Appetite
Some people lose their appetite completely. Others turn to comfort food for emotional grounding.
Why it matters:
Both undereating and overeating put stress on the body, especially during an already fragile time.
3. Increased Stress Hormones
Grief triggers the release of cortisol — the body’s long-term stress hormone.
This can cause:
- headaches
- fatigue
- muscle tension
- digestive issues
- brain fog
- inflammation
4. Immune System Suppression
Studies show that the immune system becomes weakened after a major loss, which means you’re more susceptible to colds, infections, and illness.
5. Anxiety, Depression & Emotional Overload
Grief can mimic or trigger:
- panic attacks
- waves of sadness
- emotional numbness
- difficulty concentrating
- irritability
- loss of interest in activities
These are normal responses — not personal failures.
6. Heart-Related Symptoms
Believe it or not, grief can temporarily influence heart health. Some people experience chest tightness, elevated blood pressure, or “broken heart syndrome,” a stress-induced condition that mimics a heart attack.
7. Body Pain and Tension
We hold grief physically — in the shoulders, jaw, stomach, hips, and chest. Many people report:
- heaviness
- tightness
- digestive discomfort
- migraines
Your body carries what your heart cannot yet process.
Practical Ways to Take Care of Yourself Through Grief
There is no “right” way to grieve. There is only the way that works for you. These tools can help support your emotional and physical health as you navigate loss.
✔ 1. Be Gentle With Your Expectations
Grief changes your capacity. You might not be able to work out the same, socialize the same, or focus the same — and that’s okay.
Give yourself permission to:
- cancel plans
- rest
- say no
- ask for help
- not “be yourself” for a while
Your brain is processing a major emotional wound. Being gentle with yourself is not weakness — it’s wisdom.
✔ 2. Keep Basic Routines, But Simplify Them
You don’t have to maintain a perfect routine, but keeping some structure helps your nervous system feel grounded.
Try:
- waking up and going to bed around the same time
- eating something small every 3–4 hours
- drinking water consistently
- taking a short daily walk
Think minimal, not perfect.
✔ 3. Move Your Body (But Go Easy)
Exercise doesn’t have to be intense — in fact, heavy training during raw grief can be counterproductive. Aim for gentle movement that releases tension and boosts your mood.
Try:
- slow yoga
- walking outdoors
- light stretching
- dancing to a favourite song
- mobility work
- low-intensity strength sessions
Movement helps regulate emotions stored in the body.
✔ 4. Seek Connection, Not Isolation
Grief often makes people withdraw, but reaching out — even when it’s uncomfortable — can help you feel less alone.
Try:
- calling a trusted friend
- joining a grief support group
- scheduling weekly check-ins
- being honest about how you’re feeling
Connection doesn’t remove grief — it softens its edges.
✔ 5. Create Space to Feel (Instead of Suppressing Emotion)
You don’t have to be strong every moment of the day. Feeling your emotions is part of healing.
You might try:
- journaling
- talking with a therapist
- writing letters to the person you lost
- crying without apology
- mindfulness or meditation
- expressive art, music, or movement
There is no right or wrong emotion in grief.
✔ 6. Nourish Your Body, Even When It’s Hard
Food may feel unimportant — but your body needs nourishment to handle the emotional load.
Tips:
- Keep meals simple
- Stock easy snacks (fruit, nuts, soups, smoothies)
- Eat small portions if you have low appetite
- Ask friends/family to drop off meals
- Choose warm, grounding foods
Your body is working overtime; give it fuel.
✔ 7. Prioritize Sleep Hygiene
Even if sleep is difficult, you can improve the chance of deeper rest by creating calming habits.
Try:
- dimming lights an hour before bed
- limiting screens at night
- gentle stretching
- herbal teas (chamomile, peppermint, lemon balm)
- listening to calming audio or meditation
Don’t force sleep — create an environment that invites it.
✔ 8. Talk to a Professional if You Need Extra Support
Therapists, grief counselors, psychologists, and support workers can offer tools, structure, and validation.
Therapy is especially helpful if you experience:
- persistent insomnia
- panic attacks
- depression
- inability to function daily
- overwhelming guilt
- traumatic loss
- complicated family dynamics
Reaching out is a sign of strength.
✔ 9. Honour Your Loved One in Small Daily Rituals
Rituals help transform grief into meaning and connection.
Try:
- lighting a candle
- keeping a photo nearby
- visiting a meaningful location
- carrying a token or piece of jewelry
- creating a playlist of songs that remind you of them
- storytelling with friends or family
Honouring doesn’t reopen the wound — it keeps love present.
Remember: Grief Isn’t Linear
Some days you may feel okay. Other days you might break down unexpectedly. This doesn’t mean you’re “going backward.”
It means you’re human.
Grief is love without a place to go. As you move through it, your goal isn’t to “get over” the loss — it’s to learn to live alongside it, while caring for your health and protecting your well-being.
Healing takes time.
And you don’t have to carry it alone.
Final Thoughts
Losing a parent or family member is one of the deepest emotional wounds we can experience — and it affects every part of our health: physical, emotional, mental, and even spiritual.
By understanding how grief impacts your body and mind, you can respond with compassion instead of pressure. With simple routines, movement, connection, nutrition, rest, and support, you can navigate the journey in a healthier, gentler way.
You deserve care during this time.
You deserve support.
You deserve space to heal.
Poor sleep amplifies emotional pain, weakens immunity, and impacts decision-making.
