For some people, addiction is a daily nightmare. They might want to stop using alcohol or their drug of choice, but they’ve not found a way to do it. They may turn to family members or friends for help, but sometimes, an addiction sufferer don’t assist them as much as the addiction sufferer might hope.
Substance abuse disorder is common, and if someone in your life is going through it, you should try to help them. You can do that by not saying the following things to them.
I Understand What You’re Going Through
Telling someone suffering from addiction that you understand what they’re going through isn’t accurate or helpful. Everyone uses drugs and alcohol for different reasons. Even if you’ve had your own addiction struggles, you don’t know the combination of factors driving the actions of this particular person.
Why Don’t You Just Stop Using Drugs or Alcohol?
Telling someone that they should simply stop using drugs or alcohol is cruel. They may feel peer pressure or have some kind of internal trauma that is driving them to use their substance of choice. Quitting and walking away is something they must come to terms with on their own time and in their own way.
You Could Stop if You Were Stronger
Telling someone who’s battling addiction that they could do it if they just had more willpower isn’t helpful either. You’re putting undue pressure on them when you say things like that.
You’re a Disappointment to Me
Telling someone struggling with addiction that they’re disappointing you certainly won’t help. They already know that. Saying something like that to them is exactly the opposite of what they need and could drive them to abuse substances even more than they already are.
You Need Religion in Your Life
Some people suggest that addiction sufferers could get past this point in their lives if they call on God or use organized religion to intervene. Some of those with substance abuse problems find these concepts helpful, but you should not try to claim that they’re the only way to sobriety. If someone finds them useful, that’s great, but they’re not for everyone.
My Love for You is Contingent on You No Longer Abusing Drugs or Alcohol
Telling someone that you won’t love them if they don’t stop using drugs or alcohol is another approach that’s liable to do more harm than good. Creating terms that the person must abide by for you to continue loving them is putting even more pressure on them than they already probably feel they are under.
I’ll Leave You if You Don’t Stop Using Drugs or Alcohol
You might feel like you should deliver an ultimatum to the person struggling with alcohol or drugs. Much like telling them your love is dependent on them changing their behavior, though, this approach rarely works. You might walk out on them if enough time passes and it seems like they can’t change, but you don’t need to give them that warning beforehand.
